I’m on my last night of being home with the kids while Patrick has a work trip. For the most part, it’s been fine, but there are definitely things that I’ll need to be a little less judgmental about in the future.
- We’ve had three meals a day, but I wouldn’t call them all winners. In the good column, I taught Seamus how to make his own scrambled eggs; I packed healthy lunches for the older boys, and I packed myself a lunch for work. In the bad column, we had cheese, crackers, and apples for dinner on a night I’d planned to make stir-fry; we’ve had a lot of peanut butter and Nutrigrain bars for snacks; and I let them have a glass of OJ that was about to turn. In mediocre terms, we ordered pizza one night (I put this in the middle column because we’d had it on the menu plan and it was the night of Seamus’s soccer practice.
- I’ve had help. Patrick’s dad watched the kids from 7:00-4:00 on Friday, while I went to teach. I also hired a babysitter to take Seamus to soccer practice (which another parent totally called me out on today). And I hired her again this morning so I could go to the grocery and to the shoe store. (I’m really annoyed that the credit card sent a ding to Patrick as soon as I bought shoes–It’s like it thinks my husband has to approve my purchases…)
- Friday, they all wanted to talk to me, but after 375 minutes of students, I just couldn’t listen. I tried, but I couldn’t focus on what they were saying or respond appropriately. Literally, they were all talking. I’m sure I missed important clues about their lives, but I just had nothing left. Pizza made us all feel better. I’ve tried to be patient, and I think it’s worked, mostly, but I have at least one interaction I regret my reaction for each kid.
- They miss Patrick. The one time we got to FaceTime, they were so excited to see him! Harlan walks around the house looking for him, “Dada? Dada?” Seamus and Gilbert keep making sure he’s going to get back when he said he would tomorrow. And Porter does, desperately, but doesn’t really know how to articulate it.
- Screen time. I’ve let them watch the iPads tonight, because I didn’t want to set up the projector. So they’ve been quietly watching Franklin and the Parent Trap (2 iPads) for 70 minutes. We do movie night on Saturdays, but I usually watch with them. I just can’t. And Harlan was still awake and I wanted to bathe him and get him to bed. A good column though! They’ve had more baths than usual, and I’ve managed to have reading time with each kid, every day. Porter, Franklin and Little Critter; Harlan, board books; Gilbert & Seamus, Number the Stars (finished!) and Bridge to Terabithia (started).
So I guess my takeaway and resolution is to be a bit easier and kinder on my friends and acquaintances who have a partner who works long hours or who travels a lot. Shortcuts that give you back some sanity or quiet time is okay, and nobody’s being neglected, even if I didn’t give them my best attention from 4-5:30 on Friday.
PS Seamus’s first soccer game was a lot of fun. He enjoyed himself and did not seem tired at all afterwards.