Yesterday Patrick turned to me and said, “I can’t believe we’re having another baby.” I’ve been feeling back and forth between, “Ugh, I have 3 more months of this” and “In three months, we are going to have another baby to care for. We’re not ready!” We’re so excited to have him on his way, and I think that he’ll hold his own, as he likes to kick Seamus while Seamus sits on my lap, but we are a little nervous about how busy it’s going to be around here.
I was reading this article last week about parents being afraid that they won’t be able to love the second child as much as the first or finding the older child is too big and not as loveable after the baby is born. I’m not worried about loving both boys. At all. But I’m having a hard time picturing this baby and imagining how he might be different from Seamus. I know he’ll be different, because I haven’t seen two kids in one family who are very much alike at all, except sometimes in looks, but I’m just not sure how someone could be different from Seamus. He’s just exactly like what I think a baby is. And I think my perception of that is just because I’ve learned how to be around a baby by being around him, so he’s trained me as much as I’ve trained him, and then there will be this new baby who will have to fit into this picture and train both of us, or adapt? I just don’t know.
I think the anxieties about this are stemming in part from the equal footing discussion, even though of course, circumstances can never be entirely equal for them. By default, Seamus will have had a full year of attention, savings, a room, etc. What does the new baby get? Parents that have taken care of a baby, someone to steal any toy that looks like fun…
Those of you who have more than one child (especially who have more than one of the same gender), tell me, when did you figure out that your children were different people? Birth, later, not yet? Those of you in families of more than one child of the same gender, how are you different from your siblings, because I think this may also be confusing me because I never had to differentiate myself from another girl in the same family.